Food controls my life.

A big focus of this blog was supposed to be weight loss and the struggle I have losing and keeping off weight. Well, for a lack of a better phrase - the struggle is real. People - men, women, young, old - have trouble with their weight. With all the processed foods and fast food options it isn't surprising the problems people have. 
First off, some honesty. I have lost weight, a significant amount in fact. I lost over 60 pounds in 2008. I gained it back...and then some. My highest weight (at the time) was in 2008 and that was approximately 280 pounds. As of Tuesday, I weight 307 pounds. It has been a gradual increase over the past seven years, however my weight has gotten out of control. Food controls my life. Food is supposed to be nourishing and be used to sustain life. It shouldn't control your life. Food shouldn't be constantly craved and sought after. 

Me, in 2008 after losing close to 62 pounds

Food controls my life.
This was a hard realization. It caught me off guard - to realize how much I loved food and how much I didn't want to give it up. The next realization? I am 30 years old and my body is tired. My back hurts. My knees ache. When I walk short distances, they feel long to me. My ankles swell and my feet hurt. I am carrying around another whole person with me. My body is carrying an extra 150 pound person. If I don't make changes, and soon, it could be too late.

My husband, Bob and step-daughter, Chelsea and me at her graduation a couple of weeks ago; at my highest weight of 307lbs

Once these realizations hit me full force, I had a melt down. In my doctor's office. He told me it's time to consider bariatric surgery. My instinct with weight loss surgery has always been to say "HELL NO". He convinced me to at least research it and since I am a graduate student, research is my forte, so research I did. 
My initial thoughts on bariatric surgery were: This is the easy way out. I can lose weight, I have done it. The problem? Keeping it off. Weight loss surgery to me appeared to be the easy way out for those who couldn't control themselves. I was wrong. Weight loss surgery is not the easy way out. It is easy to assume that because you have surgery and lose weight very quickly, that it is a magical, wonderfully painless solution to become thin and beautiful quickly. It isn't. It is a long and hard road. The decision itself to do it - not easy. Choosing which procedure is best for you? Difficult. Learning to eat a bariatric, liquid diet - I have yet to even fathom what that will be like. The tests that you have to do before you can even be cleared to have a procedure? Plentiful. Words can't even express how hard this process will be. 
But you know what? It's time to take my life back.